With the combination of mental health problems I suffer from the working world turns into a roller coaster of the highest of praises and nearly losing my job. I either excel or completely shut down with very little (if any) grey areain between.
The working world is a minefield of triggers for someone with extreme anxiety and borderline personality disorder. It became a trend for me to progress enough in my recovery to be allowed to work only for the working environment to become a trigger in one way or another and cause a relapse.
I think it was after the second time this happened that I started to realise that I wanted and possibly needed another avenue to explore. An avenue that would allow me the freedom to explore and progress but also make allowances for my struggles with mental health and my tendencies to isolate myself.
It was then that I decided that I wanted to open my own shop.
For years that idea has been fluid, never knowing what I wanted to sell or even where to start. I've toyed with ideas from cupcakes to clothes, stationary to toys, but never fallen in love with anything to be inspired enough to put any wheels in motion.
Five years on from my initial idea, two houses, two more jobs abd two babies I've found my place in the world and also the inspiration I needed.
This year I'm opening my shop.
I'm selling children's clothes and accessories.
I'm inspired and excited.
I have my name, I've found my stock and I'm coming up with the designs for my online store.
I'm getting wrapped up in the practical side of things, how much stock to start with, how much variation to start with and do I really need a business plan? (No is the answer to that particular question for the time being). How do I decide shipping costs? Will I offer international shipping?
Oh god this is way more complicated than I thought.
The plan is to open up shop in the spring, so In spending the next few months fine tuning my ideas, planning, ordering and preparing myself.
Not just in terms of physically having things ready, but the emotional side of things. Preparing myself for this not to work and the possibility that god forbid it does work that it might actually be something that I have to invest a lot of time in.
This could be the start of something great, it might not be, but it could be. Fingers crossed.